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Tips for Dealing with Conflict on Divorce


Christmas is a time of great enjoyment for many people. However, for others, heightened financial pressures and spending a prolonged period with extended family can cause added tension and stress.

For couples that are already experiencing problems in their relationship, a fractious festive season can sometimes be the final straw, and the start of a new year often sees a spike in divorce enquiries for family lawyers.

The breakdown of a relationship is always hard, and it can be difficult to disentangle practical arrangements from emotional ties. However, for separating couples who can keep conflict to a minimum, there are numerous benefits.

Divorces that are low in conflict are generally quicker and less costly, both financially and in terms of the toll they take on mental health.

In this blog, our specialist Divorce Solicitors give their top tips on how to navigate conflict in divorce.

1. Prioritise your children.

In any divorce, it is vital that both parents put the needs of their children first. Regardless of how you feel about your co-parent, it is important to not ‘bad mouth’ them to your children and avoid arguing in front of them wherever possible.

Children need consistency in their lives to feel secure and stable. Maintaining a routine and spending time with both parents can help minimise disruption.

Agreeing a parenting plan as soon as possible can greatly assist you and your children in coming to terms with their new circumstances and let everyone begin to adjust.

2. Speak to a solicitor early on.

A solicitor with experience in separation matters can help you navigate a divorce in various ways, including:

  • Managing communications. Involving a solicitor in the divorce process at an early stage can be crucial in ensuring that the lines of communication between you and your ex-partner remain open. An experienced divorce lawyer can help you communicate by, for example, negotiating with your ex-partner, arranging mediation or arbitration to help reach an agreement, and in respect of financial matters; advising on whether a proposed settlement is fair.
  • Put things in perspective. The divorce and finances process is often not as straightforward as one may think. An experienced family lawyer will explain the processes to you in order for you to decide the best way to deal with matters in your specific situation.
  • Taking care of the paperwork. A solicitor can advise what forms must be completed and what paperwork is required in your situation to help you to manage your divorce in the best way.
  • Reaching a financial agreement. Agreeing on ‘who gets what’ after a separation can be complicated. An experienced family solicitor can help. The process of dealing with financial matters as a result of the marriage breakdown is separate to that of the divorce and since there a number of ways to deal with this, an experienced Solicitor can guide you through which forms and/or letters should be sent at each stage of the process. An experienced family lawyer will also guide you through the financial disclosure process and identify any potential red flags that might indicate a partner is trying to hide information or assets. A divorce lawyer will also be able to advise on what is considered ‘fair’ and draft a financial consent order on your behalf if matters can be agreed, that is in your best interests and safeguards your finances from any future claims.

Involving a specialist divorce solicitor in proceedings from the outset can prove invaluable. At Russell & Russell, we have extensive experience in all separation, divorce and matrimonial finance matters. Our friendly team will ensure your case is handled sensitively and will seek to reach a consensual agreement wherever possible.

If you need legal advice about divorce, matrimonial finances or the dissolution of a civil partnership, please call us today on 0800 103 2600 or click here to make an online enquiry.

3. Be open in your communication.

Effective communication can be a great asset in ensuring a divorce runs smoothly and without conflict. When emotions run high, tensions can easily be inflamed by clumsy language or ‘saying the wrong thing’. A situation can quickly escalate, and communications can break down.

Many significant decisions need to be made when you are faced with a divorce, and being able to communicate with your ex-partner is key. There are many options available to you. Whether it is scheduling a weekly phone call, obtaining one-off advice to understand the process initially or deciding to leave negotiations to your solicitor, find a solution that works for you.

4. Look to the future.

Once you have decided to separate, focus on what is ahead of you rather than dwelling on the past. Bringing up previous disagreements and arguments with an ex-spouse can be tempting. However, going over old ground is pointless, and your energy is much better spent looking to the future.

The sooner you draw a line under the past and concentrate on securing your happiness going forward, the better.

Divorce Solicitors Bolton

Going through a divorce can be enormously stressful and emotional.

However, while you need to look after yourself on a personal level, it’s also important to understand what the legal process is and what’s best for you.

Regardless of how complicated you think your situation might be, Russell & Russell’s experienced family lawyers have the expertise to assist you with all areas of family and matrimonial law. Our experienced family lawyers can advise you on all divorce and separation matters, including:

  • The divorce process.
  • Separation.
  • Financial matters.
  • Children matters.

Further, Russell & Russell Solicitors can assist you if you are experiencing any form of domestic abuse from your partner, whether prior to or following your separation.

We have specialist divorce solicitors in our team who are members of Resolution, which looks to guide you through your divorce in a non-confrontational way.

Russell & Russell also holds family law accreditations, including The Law Society's Family Law Accreditation and Child Law Accreditation.

To speak to one of our experienced divorce and separation lawyers, please call 0800 103 2600 or make an online enquiry, and someone will get back to you.

Alternatively, click here to discover more about our divorce law service.

Please note that this article is meant as general guidance and not intended as legal or professional advice. Updates to the law may have changed since this article was published.

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