15/12/2015
Christmas can bring out the very best in people; but it can also bring out the very worst too. This is particularly relevant for couples who have separated or divorced. Making child contact arrangements over Christmas can be fraught with disagreements and arguments about who spends time with the children, when and for how long.
Trying to divide up your children’s time over the holidays can be tricky and often frustrating to negotiate. So that everyone can have a merry Christmas, here's our suggestions on how to agree sharing time with your children:
- If you’re the resident parent of a child, make sure you discuss Christmas arrangements well in advance so that both of you are aware of when you have the children and can plan accordingly
- Discuss what you would like calmly and be prepared to listen to what your ex wants, even if you don’t agree with them – this is about your children, not you
- Make your arrangements sensible and child focussed – using the children to get back at your ex-partner only ends up in with them losing out
- Think of what’s best for your child – will they feel unsettled if they spend Christmas being driven around and swapped between parents too much?
- Christmas is a special time for children, so if it’s not possible for your child to spend the festive period with both parents, they’ll probably be more than happy to have two Christmas eves and two Christmas days
If you’re struggling to come to an agreement on your child contact arrangements, we can help. We offer advice and guidance on making sensible suggestions that will make sure children get to see both parents, and their extended families, over the festive period and, more importantly, that their parents’ relationship doesn’t spoil their Christmas.
We also offer a mediation service which helps to re-focus the parents on what’s important; the children. By entering into a process of negotiation with an independent third party, mediation aims to bring about an agreement that both sides will be comfortable with. Mediation can also help foster better relations between parents by building trust which helps to avoid future potential disputes relating to the children, such as holidays and birthdays.
The breakdown of a relationship seldom ends amicably, but if children are involved it’s important to make sure they don’t end up paying the price of the parents’ separation.
Please note that this article is meant as general guidance and not intended as legal or professional advice. Updates to the law may have changed since this article was published.